Dreams do come true: Here is a proof!

Today I was organizing my digital files to streamline everything and open up some space in my computer and external hard. Then I reached to the below letter, which I was written to myself about 11 months ago, when I was still working in academia. I had totally forgotten it and found it in the middle of my work files which I was deleting! I opened it and started to read it… My tears came without warning…

This is a letter written in 2016 from me named “miserable Ariana”, requesting help from my future-self  named “graduated Ariana”! Graduated Ariana has passed all the misery and graduated on the other side of the darkness into LIGHT.

As I am writing this short description for you to get the point of the letter, I still have goosebumps! This is a proof that dreams do come true, that when we declare our position to universe and set our intentions, we invisibly set everything on fire and the whole universe works for us and pushes us in that direction. Back then, I couldn’t even dream of where I’m today …

Thank you Universe…Thank you Graduated Ariana…

And here is the original letter*:

*Please read it with grace. It’s me on the open-heart surgery table, bleeding to death. Be kind to me!

A letter for help and requesting advice from the graduated Ariana

I am in a very critical stage. I need help. Please help me. I cannot tolerate my job anymore. I am 100% blocked when I am here at work. I don’t have any energy or motivation to do anything. It does feel completely out of sync. I know I should quit and I should quit NOW. But How? Isn’t it a withdrawal or a sign of weakness/failure? Shouldn’t I stay at least until the end of the year? This would be 170 days of my life. What should I do? What should I do? Please help me. Please help me to decide. Here I am so energy drained, I feel sleepy and I don’t feel like doing anything, even writing or praying or meditating. What will become of me? Is it the right decision to talk to Nigel (my boss) tomorrow and tell him I cannot work here anymore? I want to quit and I want to quit right now. Then I can start my inner journey: meditating, reading, writing, doing yoga and starting my training. I dream to take up Martha Beck life coach training, Yoga teacher training, and maybe Reiki training. Then I can start setting up my own business and online platform. Can it possibly work? Or is it just absolutely rubbish? The miserable Ariana says “It is just a dream and it is not what is possible for me.”

Can I be someone like Martha Beck, or Elizabeth Gilbert or Brene Brown or am I just a lost soul who wants to find some comfort in these heart-warming ideas and then give up on them as quickly as it gave up on other stuff? What should I do? How can I bring myself out of this hell and bring myself into harmony? Can I abide in the state of being rather than the state of blockage and anxiety? HELP me. Please Help me…

How should I manage my finances and the security of my married life? How can I make Ryan to fully embrace my truth and doesn’t think I am a weak person who cannot tolerate her job and doesn’t care about her life and her position? I love my life, you know I do, help me to protect that and help me not to be a failure and a shame. I know I have the potential. I know it in my bone marrow. Anyone has the potential to shine and live an abundant life, right?  Please help me, please pick me up and anchor me. You know my intention loud and clear: “I want to be AWAKENED and I want it so badly. I want to be in service. I want to live in LIGHT and I want to EMANATE LIGHT into the world.” That’s all I want…

I am dead sick in my stomach, chest and throat. Please help me out of this misery and darkness and into light.

I have faith everything will fall into place the way it should be and not necessarily the way I want it to be…

Sincerely Yours

Miserable Ariana

18th July 2016

 

 

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