Today, Aria told some lies to herself and others. She says she is not a liar though. Well, apparently she is but she doesn’t know herself as a liar! You know, she doesn’t lie to hurt anyone or with any agenda, but only to protect herself. For example, she lied about enjoying the convo with her guest right into his face while actually she was wishing he would leave earlier. An hour later she lied about her career status and how happy she is about it to a nurse at the clinic during a casual convo. She is telling these sorts of lies because she is afraid of losing B&B guests -she needs the income- also she hates to look like an idiot in front of others. She should put on her mask, otherwise she would be screwed, she thinks. The lies she is telling herself is much more frequent and violent, though. For example, today she slept for two hours in the middle of the day because she told herself she needs this rest to prevent feeling tired later in the evening! By telling herself this ridiculous lie she blocked herself from the fun and uplifting activities she could have done otherwise. Later in the afternoon she wasted two and half hours on grocery shopping because she told herself in a cold and rigid way this is the best time to do it. Of course, it was a lie. She hated to go for shopping at that time but she pushed herself anyway while she could very well do that on Sunday morning!
You may ask what’s wrong with her? Does she intentionally want to create suffering for herself? No, of course not! the truth is that she has a super tender heart and she is freaking afraid of leaving it open. She wants to be good, to play professional in life, you know. So, she has her armor up mode running on autopilot, and these sorts of lies come out naturally like burps, as a result. Sometimes her fear of being vulnerable and exposed is more intense than the Hurricane Katrina! You might ask what is it she so afraid of? Well She is afraid of failure and being poorly judged very much! But the truth is that more than anything else she is afraid of looking at and embracing her own True-self! She is afraid of witnessing her own magnificence and bringing out her original medicine to share with the World. So she shrinks herself and armor herself under layers of lies, confusions and self-created misery to build a safe cocoon for her little soft tender illusory-self. She is ignoring the fact that it is an illusory cocoon for an illusory-self! The real truth is that she is -like all beings- a divine being with a unique mission and only when she breaks through her fears and liberate her True-self from this junkyard of lies and limiting beliefs, she would be able to bring out and share with the World what’s only hers to share.