Most of us know the fact that our lives is an integral of billions of fleeting moments. I certainly know it, yet I let them slip through my fingers easy as! for example yesterday I had a sudden realisation about the relationship between the state of my integrity and my energy level. The day before that I had an aha moment about the relationship between the underlying desire to please or having the approval of others and betraying my personal boundaries. The day before that I had some cool ideas on how to make a living out of a creative life or basically not going to work in its social sense. The day before that I had a vivid and inspiring dream… I can go backward for almost another 11000 days, up to the age of four which I remember I knew exactly who I meant to be! Then I let all these valuable moments of inspiration, life lesson, dream, elevated energy level and all, slip through my fingers and I cheaply trade them off with moments of invaluable pleasure. Has this ever happened to you?
There are many many times in our lives that we sell our precious moments nasty cheap. The times we choose to numb ourselves in one way or another (making a delicious meal, watching tv, straying online directionless, going out, catching up with friends…) or to have a so called celebration about that flicker of inspiration and hope that just landed on us. Not saying that these activities are bad, what I mean is instead of taking time to take that life lesson by heart and operationalize it, we simply choose to depreciate the energy and lock that precious gift in a box! We may very well think the wise thing is to save these treasures for future! I used to tell myself “It may come a day in my life that I will need these treasures and at some point these extraordinary moments will come together and I will be who I meant to be!”.
A lot of times we are suffering in the present and are hopeful for the future. But when the future finally arrives it’s only the present moment again! Such an irony! I believe our suffering or inner misery is there to wake us up to look deeper inside ourselves and is sending us constant requests to open that damn box. But, unfortunately we tend to forget the power of our FREE WILL frequently. We don’t even consider that it’s our own CHOICE when to open that damn box and begin to operationalize what we always wanted to do! For example I used to think that free will is to choose strawberry over blueberry or macaroni and cheese over bread and butter! I never really knew that I am the creator of my life through how I use my free will in EVERY SINGLE MOMENT of my life. Even when I got aware of its power my deeply ingrained, sick, repetitive pattern of celebrative ignorance and numbing took over and I locked up precious inspirations and aha moments with their life altering potential in the same box again! But no matter how f* up we are the universe is compassionate and the good news is nothing is ever lost! All our incoherent efforts, misery, aha moments, pain, joy, etc. are there, waiting for us and demanding our attention for redemption. As soon as we bring the light of our consciousness in the moment, we will find the key to the box and as we become still to unlock the box they all begin to integrate and we begin to see the seemingly unconnected dots in our lives are connected. We begin to see all those misery and suffering and friendships and relationship and whatever good and bad in our lives have happened to guide us to this very moment. We begin to hear the wordless, kind, loving, still, spacious nothingness wrapped around us whispering in our ears “Sweetheart everything is ok. You are just fine and perfect the way you are. There is nothing to worry about. Just open your heart’s eye and begin to SEE.” and we realize never is too late! and it reminds me of this beautiful quote by Goethe: “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!”
So let’s make a vow altogether my friends:
May we embrace every single moment of our lives.
May we have the courage and endurance to sit still and dive deep with each aha moment and each undesirable moment and open our hearts to RECEIVE the lessons.
May we choose right over easy .
May we say YES to uncomfortable, to vulnerability, to LIFE!
at least let’s try our best to do so, to get hold of moments, to feel them, breathe them, live them… and when we fall short and let them slip through, let’s don’t curse and blame ourselves. Let’s embrace ourselves with love and light, no matter what and get up and begin again and again and again and again…